If I lose my faith
Just remind me, just remind me
When my shadow's longer
Stay beside me till it's brighter
How easy I forget
How beautiful to see you once again

In my darkest hour I will be freed

When I close my eyes
I hope to find you, I hope to find you
When I leave my body
I want to be ready, willing like you were
I sat beside you then
I felt the warmth as it left your hands

In my darkest hour I will be freed

I've been waiting so long
That waiting was the end
Let this sleeper awaken again

In my darkest hour I will be freed

I am lost..

freedom

i would always be uncertain, undecided, go with the flow.

I will always be like a cat lost with heavy clouds looming ahead.. I will find shelter. I should. I must.

--

Sa tingin ko ay matagal din tayong di magkikita
Ayoko na tuloy isipin na malalayo ka na sa akin
bibilangin ang mga gabi hanggang tayo’y maglutang muli
Sa tingin ko ay magiging maligaya ka
Nasan ka man patungo alam mong nandito ako

Sa tingin ko ay alam mong hahanapin kita
bawat araw na ikaw ay wala na
Sa tingin ko kita sa aking mga mata na hindi pareho ang buhay ko kung wala ka
Ngunit tuloy ang ikot ng mundo
Matagal lang; masasanay mabuhay na tayo’y magkahiwalay

Pikit matang managinip
Mahahanap mo ako sa isang malalim na sulok ng iyong isip..

[Music] Suicide is Painless

"Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be: the pains that are withheld for me I realize and I can see...

That suicide is painless. It brings on many changes.

I can take or leave it if I please. I try to find a way to make all our little joys relate without that ever-present hate. But now I know that it's too late. "

How do you do?

Don't you think this position is familiar?
It's a little after twelve, and it doesnt get worse than this.
Looking out of the window, people asleep in their beds beyond the little windows, with buildings in between.
the constant empty assurance, it's all or nothing at all.
it's like I'll walk on water at every chance I get
as i find my own little oblivion as i try to keep myself away from me.
I close my eyes and bought a ticket because it's cold where I am.
I say, "How do you do?"
"The circus has fallen down to its knees as I hear the big top crumbling down"
It starts to rain where I should be, around 12 miles east.
I need a phone call.
I dial and I get no answer. I dont get any change.
I need a raincoat.
I board the train, afraid of getting older in the snow.
Love is a ghost train, rumbling through the darkness.
"Hold on to me, because I have nowhere else to go"

[Music] Lost in the darkness

Lost in the darkness, Silence surrounds you.
Once there was morning,
Now endless night.

If I could reach you, I'd guide you and teach you.
To walk from the darkness
Back into the light.
Deep in your silence,

Please try to hear me;
I'll keep you near me
Till night passes by.

I will find the answer.
I'll never desert you -
I promise you this -
Till the day that I die...

- Jekyll

Hands

I watch myself on the glass mirror infront of me as i run the water on the yellowish sink. The mirror was old and rustic with some of the silver pieces falling off the edges. the frail light from the overhead flourescent was enough to show, or rather hide the gritty tiles.

I held my hands under the faucet, fixated at the sight of the water running through my fingers. Stooping down, with handfuls of cold clear water, my face tingled at sudden change of temperature. I held my hands to my face for a moment, then look down on my hands once again.

I remember a good friend once said, that when a man decides to take only what his closed fists could hold, and have nothing more than that, and nothing more of the world would offer. then he dedicates the rest of his life in the pursuit of these handful of causes, then he is free..

My hands are now weary. Calloused. Scarred. Ugly. Clenched as tight as it can as it tries to hold on to something that doesnt want to be held.. feeling each trickling water slip through the open ended and broken crevices over, and over, and over, and over..